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Reminder: This letter was not actually written by Rajon Rondo, it was written by Danny Emerman. 100% of this dialogue is fiction.
To Whom it may Concern,
Thank you so much for not trading me this trade deadline. It should be another three and a half months before my name comes up in rumors again, but I'm glad to be a Celtic for now.
For years you have put my name out there every February for GMs around the league to fantasize about me joining their team, but it's always just a big tease.
This time around, teams like the Rockets, Kings, Raptors, and Knicks have called you guys about me. You turned them all turned around. I'm flattered that you value me so highly, but if you think I'm such a great player, why don't you just keep me? Why does my name always on the table?
While I'm flattered by what you think I'm worth, I'm unhappy that you keep listening to trades with me involved. I love the city of Boston and I love all the Celtics fans. I'm a Boston Celtic and I'm here to stay.
Even though this has been a rebuilding year, I really do see myself with the Celtics organization in the future. I'm all about winning and I trust this team to turn it around to become a championship contender soon.
The only thing I don't like about Boston is hearing my name on 98.5 and 93.7 when they're talking about trade rumors on the radio. There's a simple solution to eliminating that one flaw in this city; stop shopping me around and just sign me to a max deal already!
I'm one of the best point guards in the NBA and I feel like I'm just entering my prime now. I don't understand how trading me would make this franchise better, so don't. Open your eyes and smell the roses, management.
Like I said, I want to be a Celtic for the rest of my career, so please don't trade me.